There are many demands on people’s free time and the types of entertainment on offer are unlimited. Any interest, no matter how specific, seems to have it’s own community of aficionados. There are also a million distractions coming from the internet, your mobile phone, and other new technologies that can burn through hours of your free time. Making time for dating and building a relationship with a potential future partner, then, has to compete against all of these other temptations. Tripping up on dating mistakes can make you seem less attractive than spending free time messing about on a social network site, watching a movie or going to the gym. People need connection with other people, but if they remember to too many difficulties from dates with you, they will soon choose to connect with others or spend their time elsewhere.
Paradoxically, it can be twice as difficult to avoid making dating mistakes with someone you genuinely like. It would almost be better to have less interest in your dating partner! When things are going well and there is a sense of building potential, it is easy to start communicating too often. It can be overwhelming to receive a text message, an update on your social network profile, several phone calls, a video chat, and an instant message conversation all in the one day from your new love interest. Even where there is a genuine attraction, this can kill it quickly. Then you are left with a whole range of new technologies that can be used to ignore you.
Life’s pace and the challenges of the economy foster a need to focus on you own career and sense of the future. This can translate into an unhealthy individualistic perspective where you are the center of your own universe and have built an impenetrable wall of your own voice around you. Modern society encourages individual advancement, and there is definitely an attractive quality to those who are confident enough to pursue their own paths. But all too often this manifests as a constant need to talk about one’s own little world.
Talking too much creates dissatisfying conversation and can be a mistake on both dating sides. It is all too easy to spend a whole dinner conversation where each person has talked at each other. Pauses in the conversation allow the other person to start talking and while on the face of it, they appear to be having the same conversation, the detail of their discussion shows they are not really sharing together. This sort of conversation can be like word association where a word that one partner uses springs the other partner into describing their anecdote, and so on, back and forth. This is not enriching communication and leaves people wondering why bother with another date.
Making dating mistakes like being too focused on your partner, or too focused on yourself, can end a possible future pathway too quickly. Avoid being judged too quickly by reining yourself in from making any big fat dating mistakes.