When a military partner is on duty - DATING.co

When a military partner is on duty

Military relationships have their own unique set of challenges. A relationship with someone in the army, navy or air force who is called away on active duty needs to be dealt with carefully and thoughtfully. The fear of your partner being injured, or worse, when away on duty can be overwhelming and illogical. If you have settled into a comfortable pace with your partner at home, severing the link can tip you into a bleak loneliness. While your partner is away, you can also feel the added responsibility of carrying two lives. This can be especially true if you have children, pets, or a home business. The joys of sharing the responsibilities and having someone to debrief with is replaced with a long list of work that needs to get done to stay afloat.

There is no reason why it is not possible to accommodate the dynamics involved when a partner is away on duty. Being aware of the mix of pressures and possible difficulties can help you prepare and respond more thoughtfully to whatever happens.

It is of no use to bury your head in the trenches until your partner goes on leave. The call to active duty always feels like a surprise on some level. This should not be compounded by never having talked about it together. Avoiding thinking about your life when your partner is away also increases your likelihood of pain.


Getting an understanding of how this impacts on your partner is an intimate moment you can share. It is easy to get emotionally charged up about your own fears and worries when your partner is on duty. You can get consumed with thinking about all the worries you will have and the loneliness you may feel. This may blind you to realizing that your partner may not want to be away either. Understanding this can help you fortify yourself against self-pity and other indulgent emotions. You may be able to turn your stresses into a way to support and encourage your partner during their absence. Sending care packages or keeping your social network page up to date may be some ways that your partner can still get in contact with you and feel a connection to what is happening at home.

Other military relationships will be in a similar situation to you. They can be a strong source of support and allow you to vent some of your irrational worries without feeling like a crazy person.

Having a partner in the armed forces who is away on duty is a worrying and pressured time. There are ways to avoid the severity of the experience and lighten the load you each have to carry.

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